i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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