A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
