You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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