Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
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