she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she smelled like a LAN party
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
