we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize