Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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