it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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