U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
