She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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