Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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