you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
