I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
