i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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