she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
