someone owes me an orgasm
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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