This house was built for laser tag.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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