is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
