Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
