Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
