Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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