Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize