Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The uberlube is also flammable
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize