OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
