if only i could text you this smell
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize