Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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