God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
