Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
3 2 1 whiskey
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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