someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm both gender and math confused
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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