She just used a chaser for red wine.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
