using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
