come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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