Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
