also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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