like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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