Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
