Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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