So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
