One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
