I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
