Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she looked like the before picture.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
