he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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