Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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