Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Whod you bang
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
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i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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