What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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