I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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