I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize