if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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