I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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