Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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