He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
