i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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