after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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