how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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