Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
