Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
